My partner is on the spectrum. He was diagnosed as a kid and still sees a therapist to help him decipher his thoughts and feelings. He has trouble communicating, not knowing where and when to say certain things. He becomes overwhelmed and agitated when he’s hungry or when his senses are being bothered. Being on the spectrum myself, I understand. But as a partner, it can be hard. The biggest thing I have learned is that he should be held to the same standards as anyone else. It’s okay to be frustrated at him when he crosses personal boundaries. Don’t let him think difficult conversations aren’t necessary – they’re incredibly important for a healthy relationship. Autism doesn’t change that, it just means that sometimes things need to be approached differently. Being as straightforward as possible and communicating as soon as you feel discomfort is crucial, as subtle hints may fly by unnoticed. He needs the blunt truth to really understand a situation, and I do as well. I am lucky that I am able to understand him, but if you are neurotypical and dating someone who is on the spectrum, don’t treat them any differently. You don’t need to walk on eggshells! Talking about serious topics can be stressful, and finding the healthiest ways to work things out takes time. But in the end, if you love the person you are with, that is the most important thing!
~Anonymous Writer
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