I talked before about the importance of developing ways to accommodate your own needs and not relying on others and the world to do it for you. Self-care is extremely important.
Some bonus self-accommodation techniques I’ve learned along the way: don’t force yourself to make eye contact! There may be situations where it’s necessary, but if it isn’t, don’t hold yourself hostage to a neurotypical standard. Sunglasses can also help with that, and they can also help with unmanageably bright, distracting lights.
Ask people questions. Ask them what’s expected of you, ask for explicit instructions. It may be cliche, but there are no stupid questions if the answer is something that’s going to benefit you. You’re never a burden for needing the extra help, you’re advocating for your needs and taking care of yourself in the way you deserve.
And from an internal standpoint, one of the best ways you can accommodate your needs is to validate yourself. Be your own cheerleader. Have a special interest? Pursue it and don’t let anyone stop you. You don’t need permission, and you don’t need others’ validation. Engage in the interests and activities that best fit your wants and needs. That extends to stimming– let yourself enjoy it. Stimming is a way for the brain to regulate and soothe itself. There’s no reason to fight that. Be kind to yourself and embrace the behaviors that calm you down. Stimming is not for anyone else, it’s for you.
Lastly, give yourself time to process big life events and change. Neurotypical people traverse these situations in many different ways. There’s no race, no timer going off in the background. If you need time to recharge, if you need time to process, then you take that time. Communicate with others as best you can, but most importantly, take care of yourself. Find those ways of self soothing, because the world doesn’t always do that for us. We have to hold ourselves accountable for seeking out those ways of centering ourselves enough to tackle the life ahead.
~Anonymous Writer
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