Some days, it all becomes a little too much. I think that's something that most people can relate to. But for those of us on the spectrum, the experience of those overwhelming emotions can cause a meltdown. It looks different for everyone and can vary situationally. Sometimes, it is more of a mental shutdown than it is a meltdown. That shutdown can last hours, sometimes days. But for me, a meltdown is a lot more intense.
A meltdown starts as an overwhelming discomfort, like an uncomfortable heat that begins boiling under the skin. It is usually triggered by a wave of stress that feels inescapable. Processing anything else but my anxiety feels impossible. If anyone tries to touch me or even talk to me, I get irrationally angry. The sensory overload runs through every neuron in the body. Sometimes it comes out in a fit of inconsolable crying, sometimes a fit of rage that is generally more directed at myself than anything else. At the end of it all, I'm left raw and exhausted. The next few days are usually accompanied by feeling drained and unmotivated.
Through talking with others, I've learned I'm not alone in this experience. The details may vary from person to person, as it is a spectrum for a reason! But the experience of an emotional or sensory overload is nothing to be ashamed of. There are methods to cope and strength in community. Remember that those moments are just that--they are moments. And they will pass, as moments do. With each meltdown, we will learn about ourselves, and we will learn ways to move forward proactively.
~Anonymous Writer
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