It's 8:00 in the morning. Time to wake up and start the day. Today's the day I'll eat breakfast. I grab my phone to turn off the alarm and respond to the messages I'd missed the day before. The ceiling fan is clicking as it spins, and the chain makes a metallic clunk as it repeatedly hits the light fixture. I turn off the fan and the light and open the window shade. But that's too much light, and the sun is so warm that it's heating up the room. I close the shade again. My socks are itchy so I take them off. Too distracting. Now that the distractions are taken care of... it's 11:00 AM. Really? I'm late for work.
I grab a towel and head to the shower. There are water droplets dried on the mirror. I try to brush my teeth, but the dirty mirror is too distracting. I clean it before realizing I never even finished brushing my teeth. It's time to start the shower. It should only take 15 minutes. Today's the day it only takes 15 minutes.
After the shower, I dry off my hair. I stare out the window at grass moving in the wind. There is a dog barking outside, which is irritating against the sound of my window AC. I zone out for a bit, lost in the sounds, but then finally turn the AC off. I appreciate the silence for a few minutes before realizing how warm I am. My shirt has started sticking to my skin, and I know I won't be able to function until that changes.
By the time all of this is finished, it's 2:00 PM. I haven't eaten, I never finished brushing my teeth, I dissociated in the shower to the sound of the water so who even knows if I remembered to wash my hair?
My experience on the spectrum makes time feel like it does not move linearly. So much happens at once that before I know it, the day has progressed ahead of me. Some days are better than others, but overall I know that I will have to work harder at my time management than most. Setting alarms, writing physical notes and keeping a planner has helped provide some structure but it's not an immediate fix. But it doesn't stem from a lack of caring, and it doesn't mean those of us on the spectrum aren't trying. It just means time moves a little bit differently for us. And there are times where it is important to adapt, but it is important to find time to be yourself and experience the world at the speed you want.
~Anonymous Writer
#brandonsvoice #autisticgold #autismacceptance #autism #autismfamily #autismlove #differentnotless #specialeducation #raffle #beavoiceforautism #autismblog #blogpost
